Getting serious about creating all that you want (in every area of your life)
One of the things STRM is about is consciously creating the kinds of life and relationships you really want. (Chapter 1). But to choose good relationships, you must first start with some choices!! One of the most effective and fun ways to meet people is through the internet. 

On-line singles services are for meeting people!
To understand this, let's review what the internet is NOT for?  The internet is NOT for:
1.) Developing big heavy, romantic on-line fantasies.
2.) Setting up a lot of dates with people you've never met.
3.) Risking 2 to 8 hours on a date with someone who turns out to be TOTALLY DIFFERENT than you thought he or she was on the internet!
4.) Replacing a real life, of meeting real people in the real world.

So what IS the internet for? 

It is a very time effective tool for doing some initial screening-- for at least coming up with some possibilities for people you MIGHT want to get to know.

On-line singles services are a perfect compliment to STRM!
Rather than risking 3 or 4 hours on someone you may not even end up liking (which has happened, believe it or not), invite some of your new contacts to a STRM party or workshop-- or some other event! (Click on "calendar" to your left). Now we're talking! The good news is, if you'd like to get to know the person better, you can arrange a date from there. The even better news is that if you're happy just to be friends, and are still undecided on dating this person, invite him or her back for some more parties and become even better friends. By that time, maybe he or she will have had a chance to make some other friends at the STRM events.  You can't get any more win-win that that.


Cyber-love for Dummies (Tips)
1) Whatever you do, don't take it too seriously. It's just a fun way to meet people. If you don't think it's fun, don't do it.

2) Understand that people can sometimes be very particular and very hurried Don't take it personally! Not everyone is even going to write you back.  In the cyber world, this is not necessarily poor educate. You may write someone. He or she may not here any bells ring. (He or she, may, by the way be deaf by now) Either way, you're extending yourself just for the sheer pleasure of being this kind of a person-- passionate, daring and engaging.  Perfect. You've got your reward already, even if you never get a letter back.

3) Two tips on how to initiate some communication:
a.) Make your profile and your notes to others honest, and sincere, but also fun. People's lives can be a little heavy and dreary at times. They need a breath of fresh air.  Perhaps a few fun comments from you could be that breath. You may not want to get into your life story on the internet.

b.) Understand the reality of "social chips." As unromantic as this sounds, meeting and getting to know people is somewhat tied into what psychologists describe as "social exchange."  For instance. A 5'6 3/4", poor, spiritually dead male, may not get much of a response from a tall, beautiful and transcendent women. Height is a "chip" for men in the theory of "social exchange". So is financial stability and being generally successful in whatever you do.  Sense of humor, supportiveness, calmness etc. are all chips for men-- generally.  Obviously there's tons of variance here. Some women actually PREFER short men.  I met one once.  She didn't speak English though.  
    A woman's chips are even more stark. They are attractiveness, her ability to be happy (or as John Gray puts it, her ability to be made happy), the amount of child bearing years she has left etc.. There are of course many chips that go for either sex: compassion, patience, spirituality, endurance, empathy, cheerfulness etc. The point is this: All of God's children are of infinite worth to him. It will be wonderful when one day we can see each other for who we really are. That day hasn't come though.  And for now it really helps to mindful, in at least a general sense, of what you have to offer (in "chips"), compared to what someone else has to offer. This does not need to limit you, or turn you into a chicken. It is simply a phenomena to be conscious of.  So take some chances! But if none of the fish are biting in one end of the lake, try another end (Try another type). They don't all have to look like Brooke Shields or Leonardo DeCap.  Give some different types a chance to "grow on you."  There is much more to share on this... Hope to see you at the next workshop.

For now, here's your assignment.  Write 100 people in the next 90 days and invite them to a STRM party, workshop or some other event.  Stir some social life up!  If you already have a social life but have not really found anyone you're that interested in, stir some MORE social life up!  If you aren't really interested in finding someone special in your life right now, PERFECT!  Be a sport and invite these 100 people out to meet some of your friends! 

4) Put a picture in your profile that actually LOOKS like you.  You can submit a very photogenic shot, but why would you want to scare someone later, in the real world?  On the other hand, get a picture that shows how CUTE you are too.  Don't hide it.  But don't exaggerate it either.  If you've got an older picture of yourself, and just haven't gotten around to sending in a new one, you may want to mention this in your profile.

5) As a rule of thumb, people aren't looking for a relationship with your children.  At first, they are just looking for a relationship with you. I understand your kids go along with the package.  But the reality of being single again in life is hard enough for people.  Break them into what it really means slowly (i.e. blended families).  Give them a chance to get sold on YOU, and then your kids.  Leave your kids off the internet at first.  Send those pictures later.  This is my personal opinion on this.  I have no research.  It's just a hunch.  


Sponsors
*The amazing "Masters Miracle" Products. Talk about health!? 


*Meet a lot of wonderful people at LDSSingles on line-- the premiere meeting place.  For info, go to: www.johncanaan.com/ldsso.htm
*Look for your S.T.R.M. buddies at the Dees Dances: (25 to 50) www.deesdances.com ROK-HITS (765-4487)
*Look for your 18 - 40 S.T.R.M. buddies at the Steve Aimes Dances
www.ldsdanceinfo.com